One Day at a Time
The saga continues with my dad, who has been thru hell the past few weeks. Its sad to know that the time I spent with him before the operation could very well become the last time we hang out as father and son. Its awful hearing how he is deteriorating day after day and how his body is shutting down on him, while his heart remains strong. His heart was the whole worry, the whole scare in it all and as it turns out, now that has been the least of the worries. Its difficult to run thru the emotions I have the past few weeks. Its mostly a case of being numb and just trying to accept the hand that life has given us in this case. Ive done the depressed part.. and continue to, Ive done the crying and Ive done the "be strong". Whats left? I sit and wait for the news...whatever that news might be? I pray and hope that things make a turn around? I prepare for the worse? Or I drown myself in booze?
Work is tough, people I have a hard time lying to people when they ask "How are you doing?". I will naturally tell them the truth... which then makes them feel bad which is shortly followed by a very awkward ending to the conversation usually started by me saying "Let me let you go", which is code for "I acknowledge this is awkward and here is your way out". All in all, work keeps my mind off it... so I like being here.
I will say that its amazing to see who sticks by you thru these times of hardship. Its amazing what a simple text message, IM or phone call can mean or do to a persons spirits. Its also disheartening to see who backs off to give you "space" which is just a cop-out for not knowing what to say or do. Friends who had contact literally every day via phone call have fallen off the map, while others who hardly had any contact over the last few months, call 2-3 times a week.
All in all.... peoples prayers have helped and made my family and I thankful for the company we keep. All we can do now is wait, hope and pray. I heard a quote once that when "life gives you lemons, make lemonade". That doesn't apply here, so if you know one that does to make me feel better, please share.
Work is tough, people I have a hard time lying to people when they ask "How are you doing?". I will naturally tell them the truth... which then makes them feel bad which is shortly followed by a very awkward ending to the conversation usually started by me saying "Let me let you go", which is code for "I acknowledge this is awkward and here is your way out". All in all, work keeps my mind off it... so I like being here.
I will say that its amazing to see who sticks by you thru these times of hardship. Its amazing what a simple text message, IM or phone call can mean or do to a persons spirits. Its also disheartening to see who backs off to give you "space" which is just a cop-out for not knowing what to say or do. Friends who had contact literally every day via phone call have fallen off the map, while others who hardly had any contact over the last few months, call 2-3 times a week.
All in all.... peoples prayers have helped and made my family and I thankful for the company we keep. All we can do now is wait, hope and pray. I heard a quote once that when "life gives you lemons, make lemonade". That doesn't apply here, so if you know one that does to make me feel better, please share.
Labels: Updates on the D
posted by N:O3 at
6:00 PM
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